Not a bump in the night. Not a burning smell. Not a bright light. But deep inside, I felt my heart turn a flip. It squeezed. It shifted. It jolted. It raced.
In the darkness of my hotel room, I remembered I was away from home, my husband, my family. Fear turbo-charged the beating in my chest.
Against everything we’ve ever learned about emergencies, I stood up and debated my options: A. I could call 911 and have paramedics monitor me while transporting me to the hospital*; or B. I could pull on clothes, grab my suitcase, Google the directions and get myself to the Emergency Room, or C. I could wait until I passed out and housekeeping could discover me in the morning.
What is this?
That’s the question for the times that arrests our hearts.
As we speak, organizers trumpet the 250th Anniversary of the United States of America. Our nation’s leaders appeal to the masses for a religious revival, while a record nightly average of 60,000 people, apprehended sometimes for nothing more than looking or sounding undocumented, are languishing in very profitable, detention centers, human warehouses. The highest court of the land determined that race can’t be use to analyze the effects of racial gerrymandering and voter suppression, when it eviscerated the 1965 Voting Rights Act in April. Promptly thereafter, Tennessee, and Alabama initiated changes that could affect the collective votes of black voters for generations. The United States Department of Justice (DOJ) has indicted the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) claiming its payments to undercover operatives in the Klan constitute a fraudulent use of donor funds. And a court found that grants cut by the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) were illegally based on protected characteristics such and as race and gender. Supporters of our President presented him with a statue overlaid with gold, sparking social media posts on everything from the Golden Calf to Nebuchadnezzar’s statue, but really prompting more questions as to corruption and access. And, while overlooking potential corruption, other supporters are seeking to impose a National Day of Rest, a Sabbath.
Absolutely no irony detected here. For America’s 250th birthday, it has renewed its commitment to contradiction. The very core of American incongruity has risen to the occasion, consistent with its history, but not its creed. And while some pray on the National Mall, our hearts are racing and many of us are standing in the middle of the living room, immobilized. What is this?
The morning after my scare, I thanked God for my life. I could have left this world in a quiet heap behind the steering wheel (I chose option B), but God saw fit to give me more time. I then remembered that the day before, a male colleague had threatened my bona fides. When I disagreed with his aggressive and competitive ideas against another woman, my system flooded with adrenaline. As a black woman director I wanted to neutralize this guy. I wished for allies whose organizational savvy could help me execute like a cold boss. With those designs on my mind, I fell asleep, until my heart skipped a beat at 1 A.M..
I like the Amplified Bible translation for this passage because it highlights the idea that our choices implicate our lives now and for eternity. The passage saturated my mind, and I took this as responsive and instructive to my heart scare, and I committed to the Lord’s methods and timing thereafter.
This means that as a Christ follower, I accept that two things are operational in my experience: recognition that there is a spiritual dimension to our existence, and my choice to live in the Divine reality. Moreover, I recommend this rubric as you see the headlines, as you plan your next moves, as you live your life in these perilous times: there is more to this than what meets the eye. Do not meet whatever it is with your bare hands, but with the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” (Ephesians 6:17b) We must unlock our personal complacency, and even community paralysis using the approach given by Jesus Himself (Revelations 3:18)—stock up on His gold, which has nothing to do with money, rather, it is knowing we can bank on His faithfulness, His love, and His peace. Proceed with confidence under His robe of salvation, and model of right-doing, and then, do right things, especially for others. Finally, perceive these times through fresh, perceptive, discernment.
*A. is the correct option, SMH.
CARMELA MONK CRAWFORD, Esq., is Editor of Message Magazine