By BARRY C. BLACK

ow do we deal with the silence of God? How do we respond to unanswered prayer? What should our response be when we claim God’s promises but nothing seems to happen? What should we do when God says nothing? The challenge of unanswered prayer may lead us to experience despair. Nearly everyone in his or her lifetime will encounter what seems like unanswered prayer, and nearly everyone in his or her lifetime will seem to encounter God’s silence.

The truth is, God always answers prayer. Sometimes He does not give us the answer we want. The Bible says that His thoughts are as high above our thoughts as the heavens are above the earth (Isaiah 55:9). If we always understood what He was doing, we would be as smart as God. Sometimes God does not say yes to our requests because we are asking for something that does not even exist. We are like the mother of James and John in Matthew, chapter 20, who wanted her sons to sit on the right and left of Jesus in an earthly kingdom. Jesus gently responded to her request by telling her she did not know what she was asking. Jesus was not going to set up an earthly kingdom, for his kingdom was not of this world (John 18:36). In many of our prayers, we ask with insufficient knowledge.

To ensure that your prayers are answered according to God’s will, seek to learn to pray correctly. Luke 11:1 describes an incident where the disciples tried to learn correct praying: “One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When He finished, one of His disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his ‘disciples” (NIV). Jesus responded to this request by providing them with some steps for correct praying.

What steps did Jesus teach His disciples about prayer? He told them to pray in solitude, and the Father who sees in secret would reward them openly. Jesus set the example, according to Mark 1:35, “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray” (NLT). Step one is to pray in solitude, for there we are more likely to hear the whisper of God’s still small voice. Perhaps this is why we are admonished in Psalms 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Jesus gave his disciples a second step for correct praying. He told them to let their words be few, (Matthew 5:37) for prayer involves listening as well as speaking. Unfortunately, too many of us stay in the talking mode. The priest Eli told the boy Samuel that when you hear God’s voice, respond by saying, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:10). Too many of us reverse this sequence and declare, “Listen, Lord, for your servant is speaking.”

So, after you structure your prayer life around solitude and brevity, what third step can you take when God seems silent? Step three is keep on praying. As 1 Thessalonians 5:17 enjoins, “pray continually.” Matthew 7:7 resonates with this notion: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (NIV). This is the key to a breakthrough: persevering in prayer even when it seems God is not listening.

Jesus gives a fourth step to answered prayer. When God seems to say nothing, we should surrender to His will. This is what Jesus did in Gethsemane, repeatedly declaring, “Let your will be done.” We should desire God’s will because He knows what is best for us. As Romans 8:28 reminds us, God is working for the good of those who love Him. How dare the creature tell the Creator what to do. In Isaiah 45:9 the prophet put it this way: “Should the clay speak to the potter?” We should learn that God’s way is best for us.

A fifth step to deal with unanswered prayer is to avoid praying selfishly. Jesus taught His disciples to use the plural pronoun in the “Our Father” of Matthew 6. It is our Father not my father. It is give us this day our daily bread, not give me. It is forgive us our debts, not forgive me my sins. It is lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. It is an unselfish prayer.

And never forget that in prayer we find an antidote for despair, for Jesus challenged us to always pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1). The sacred Scriptures also remind us to not become weary in doing what is right, for in due season we will reap a bountiful harvest, if we don’t give up (Galatians 6:9).

Please take these five steps when God seems to ignore your prayers:

1. Pray in solitude.
2. Pray with fewer words.
3. Pray with perseverance.
4. Pray with submission to God’s will.
5. Pray unselfishly.

REAR ADMIRAL BARRY C. BLACK (RET.) was elected the 62nd Chaplain of the United States Senate in 2003. Prior to coming to Capitol Hill, Chaplain Black served in the U.S. Navy for over 27 years, ending his distinguished career as the Chief of Navy Chaplains.