ou’ve probably heard it said that the number one thing that husbands need is respect, and that is correct. However, our understanding of respect is often basic and rudimentary. We know men want respect on their job, at church, from other men, and from their wives. But respect for a man is so much bigger than not talking down to him in public or not treating him like a child.
If you want an advanced-level understanding of respect, you must level up to Respect 2.0. So we’d like to reframe it for you. Here it is—husbands want their wives to believe in them. It’s that simple. If you believe in him, it will empower him to achieve more than he ever could without your belief.
Listen to this definition of respect: “A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements” (dictionary.com). Your man wants to be admired, approved of, and believed in. It is respect, but at a deeper level. It’s Respect 2.0.
In Ephesians 5:33b, when Paul says, “… the wife must respect her husband,” the Greek word he uses for respect can mean “to be struck with amazement” (Strong’s Bible Concordance). So Paul seems to have more than a mere, basic, remedial respect in mind. Here are five practical ways to have Respect 2.0 for your husband:
2. Show Interest – It is natural for us to talk about the things that we enjoy but how often do we take the time to find out what excites our spouse? Even though it may be something you are not intrigued by, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask questions and be engaged in what he loves. This reveals that you not only believe in him but you recognize his intrinsic value.
3. Ask for His Input – There is nothing more validating to a man than when his woman asks for his perspective on something. Especially when it is something that he isn’t necessarily an expert in. This makes him feel that she not only believes in him, but believes he has something to contribute mentally and even intellectually.
4. Trust Him – Your man needs to know that you trust him to make good decisions. So don’t immediately question your husband when he makes a suggestion or shares an idea. If you do, he will assume that you don’t trust his judgment or his ability to make decisions. When he comes to you with his bright idea, don’t reflexively knock it down and dismantle it. Begin by acknowledging his idea and treat him as if he usually comes with good suggestions. This will let him know that you trust him.
5. Give Him the Benefit of the Doubt – Too often we are ready to jump to conclusions about our spouse. And for some reason, men seem to feel this notion more times than not. Giving your man the benefit of the doubt “shows him that you trust and appreciate him… put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Assume that he is trying his best and has good intentions” advises Sara Freed, a professional relationship coach. This gives your man the understanding that you believe in his motives and that you trust his forethought. The confidence that comes from this is next level.
So wives, maybe you’ve been oversimplifying things with your man, thinking that as long as you don’t embarrass him in front of company you’re fulfilling your obligation to respect him. But now you realize that what your man really needs is to be admired, affirmed, and believed in. If you can master this skill, you will be lightyears ahead of the curve in almost every area of happiness in your relationship.
