he week after I was baptized in June 2019, I traveled to India to tell my parents and sisters about my decision to grow as a Christian for the rest of my life. I was holding a small New Testament Bible in my hand, and the pages of the book were becoming moist from my sweat as I was speaking. I was nervous; I could lose them forever. Praise God, nothing changed with them! My parents and my sisters still want to hear my voice every day and want to see my face on What’sApp. They still love me.
I found freedom in idol-free worshiping (which I was looking for since 2006) that clogged my access to the true, living God. Now, I wonder, how to tell them how precious God’s promise—heaven—is? How do I tell them that all the good works they have done in the past, or currently doing, still fall short in front of God? How do I tell them that no matter what, we are all sinners and remain sinners? How do I tell them, we need a Savior—now and forever! How do I tell them no amount of good work will help forgive our sins if we don’t have faith in Him?
Every time I think of these questions and read through the powerful words of the Bible, or while listening to worship songs, or studying Bible—I choke up! My heart sinks! My eyes tear up!
My problem quickly became two-fold. Not only was I unable to find the right words to express to my family, but I also was not able to even understand the Bible itself. Just like any good Christian girl should do, I prayed about it, and I went to Bible studies every single day of the week. So many Christians gave me books after books after books to read “about” the Bible, but I could not understand the Bible itself. Coming from a Jain/Hindu religion, reading the Bible was, in itself, a miracle, but quickly became meaningless as I could not connect to the verses, the story, or the interpretation.
While the evangelists in many born-again Christians’ lives either become their brothers or sisters in Christ, my evangelist (who promised to have my back) decided to leave me. He just threw me into a sea of Christians, like throwing a baby into a pool of water. The technique of throwing a baby into a pool, to tap into infants’ purported “swimming and floating reflexes,” may not work for every baby.
The joyful person in me took a back seat at the church. My hunger for learning and understanding the Word grew so much out of the mistrust I witnessed, that led me to join a New York City study group. I joined after an interesting meeting on one of the hottest days of the year, while waiting for the subway at the 14th street station in New York and reading the Bible.
A Korean lady nudged me and asked, “Is this Bible?”
“Yes,” I said smiling.
“Are you Christian?”
“Yes.”
She invited me to a seminary, which opened to me a whole new way of learning and understanding the Bible. I was shocked and ecstatic at the same time. I was praising God, thanking Him every day for helping me finally find someone who would teach me, one to one, some of the most fundamental questions that I, as a baby Christian, was desperately seeking answers to:
I do not know how many days, months, or years it will take for me to get back the trust I lost; but if you are a new Christian, I would like to share that each sermon you hear or each Bible study you take, no matter where it is coming from, please take it as a grain of salt.
As it is getting close to completing two years of my Christian life, I still do not have answers to so many questions. Knowledge of the Bible and bearing fruits of Jesus’s character will continue to grow for years and years, as I continue to seek God and godly people in my life. I know I have to keep my eye toward the horizon and not drown with fear of no support. God will provide! Praying in Jesus’ name, Amen.
