o single event has diluted the negative stigma of online dating quite like the corona-virus pandemic. More people than ever are willing to give it a try these days, despite all the negative press it has received in the past. In her article, “Coronavirus has Changed Online Dating: Here’s why some say that’s a good thing,” Cortney Vinopal, from Ditch the Label says, “…a study conducted by Match found that…69% of singles said they’d be open to…meeting on a dating app during quarantine. Another 22%…said they’d consider entering an exclusive relationship with someone they hadn’t met in person.”
Many singles are now open to virtual meet-ups due to the decreased opportunity to come together in traditional social settings. The question is, should Christians dodge e-dating, or subscribe to this social phenomenon? A bigger question might be, is there something about online love that goes against God’s word?
The truth is we are made in God’s image and He is a community— Father, Son and Holy Spirit— three in one. This is why humans have a primal need to relate to others. In other words, “It is not good that man should be alone…” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV). Solomon wrote, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (Ecclesiastes, 4:9, NLT). It’s no wonder the Bible is full of advice on how we should seek opportunities to interact with each other and relate to one another. The pandemic, however, has challenged our ability to interact by creating a need for social distancing. So, are we supposed to put creating new relationships on hold until after the pandemic is over? Certainly not. Life must continue, and we have to find new ways to adjust to our new circumstances.
In that spirit, we’d like to offer a positive perspective to online dating that will help you feel more comfortable about sliding into someone’s DMs, using the acronym S-O-C-I-A-L:
1. Sneak Peak—One of the most basic benefits to cyber interaction is the ability to perform social media recon. Just like Joshua and Caleb spied out the land of Canaan to prepare to conquer it (Numbers 13), using social media platforms can give you a glimpse into the person you want to connect with. But remember, most people carefully curate their online persona so proceed with caution.
2. Offline Relationship Potential—Just because a relationship starts out virtually does not mean that’s where it will stay. Online relationships usually end up face to face, even during a pandemic. Stacy Hubbard from the Gottman Institute writes, “The only way to know if you have a future with a person is to meet face to face since the only real algorithm for love is in the human brain.” Meeting online does not mean you can’t have a real relationship. It just means it was not initiated in what others may call, a “normal” way.
3. Convenient Interaction—Sometimes your life is just too busy for traditional dating practices that tend to be cumbersome and overly time consuming. Psychology Today notes that online romance “allows for safe and convenient interaction, without much risk or time commitment.” This may be a great way to meet potential prospects without putting yourself in harm’s way, or worrying about meeting a stranger on an awkward blind date.
4. Increases Communication—One benefit of cultivating a relationship online is the potential for greater dialogue. Because of the limited amount of possible activities, what’s usually left is meaningful conversation. According to Juliana Kaplan from Business Insider, “you may actually emerge with a stronger foundation from your months of video calling.”
5. Assuages Attraction Distraction—The limitations of e-dating can be beneficial too. Again Kaplan states, “By virtually connecting, you are able to get to know someone for who they really are and not solely rely on your sexual attraction.” In some cases, the sexual attraction can block red flags and other obvious barriers to healthy relationships. Some are willing to overlook toxic behavior when sexual magnetism takes over.
6. Lowers Anxiety— There are those who have a hard time meeting new people in person. For some, the cyber environment may make it easier to share feelings, emotions and jokes when relating to a potential love interest. This can ease the anxiety once the offline encounter is ready to take place.
Nothing quite compares to face-to-face interaction when it comes to picking a mate. However, online dating is neither negative nor positive in and of itself, but it’s what you make of it that counts. So find a quiet room, get a strong Wi-Fi connection, and get your virtual dating on because it is here to stay.
